Things I would have experienced

Donnie Darko is a nice movie and this song is awesome.


Tears are crawling on my face. There is nothing I can do to stop them Cry

I am writing this in order to stop them .

Writing English may activate the other side of my brain and this might help to stop them.


I had a dream in which my mother -who passed away two years ago because of leukemia- appeared.

In this dream, I live in Finland and my mother, my father, my brother and somehow a dog (our family can’t have a dog as a pet because we all have an allergy to animal hair Razz ) come to Finland to visit me.

I have my own family in Finland (I have a husband but I don’t see his face Razz) and I go to the station to pick them up.

Then, we go to Forum (it is a department store in Helsinki).


Hooray! Tears finally stopped! I will finish writing this dream, anyway, although tears has stopped already Cool


In this dream, my mother has already had leukemia but she seems to be in a good condition.

I am worrying about her, so I prepare a wheelchair for her so that she is not tired.

She is on a wheelchair and I am rolling it. She laughs a lot and all of us laughs a lot.

We stop in front of a shop selling sausages, which is something like I saw in Germany and Finland doesn’t have actually, enjoying choosing a sausage to buy.

My mother and I, then, go to the lady’s room.

I say, worrying about her,  “Mom, are you Ok? Finnish toilet seat is different from the Japanese one. If you need my help, let me know!”.

She replies with laughter, “No problem! Don’t worry! This toilet seat is somewhat bigger but I can make it for sure! haha!” Overjoy

After that, we come back where my father, my brother and the dog are supposed to be, but there is nobody but the dog there.

We laugh a lot again, then my father and my brother come back.

I buy them a 6-days special transportation ticket sold by HSL which they can use in Helsinki (Remember this is a dream! HSL has a transportation ticket but it’s different from this, of course Razz).

Everybody laughs a lot in this dream… Heartbeat

This dream makes me so happy but so sad at the same time.

It depicts the things that I would have experienced if my mother were still alive and the things that I will never experience in my lifetime.


This dream gives me the feeling that it’s as if this real world is just a dream and the dream I had is actually a real world.


This feeling somewhat reminds me of a movie called Donnie Darko.

I don’t like Tears of fears, but this song is special and its lyrics is great.

Gary Jules wonderfully covered this song Music Note

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